This is the day the lord has made

We all know the classic Psalm "This is the day the lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." But wouldn't life be better if it was "This is the (Blank) that the (Blank) has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." You could go to McDonald's and the guy behind the counter looks depressed and he probably wants to kill himself. You read his name tag, it says Charlie. What happens next? He gets you a burger and you exclaim "THIS IS THE BURGER THE CHARLIE HAS MADE!" and the other attendants to the restaurant exclaim "LET US REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT!" and Charlie no longer wants to commit suicide.

New Religion

I am proud to announce today that I am starting my own religion. It's called Anarcholuthernism. Here's the concept, It's Lutheranism with no real rules. There is no structure whatsoever you simply follow what you believe roughly based off of traditional protestant beliefs mixed with your own. There is no church and there is no hierarchy. You decide what is right and what is wrong based off your own personal experiences. Let's be honest, the bible does not have all the answers in this modern world of ours and can even lead us astray at times. So follow what you believe and be an Anarcholutherin!

Indian doctor gets life for filming naked patients and selling pics online

An Indian doctor has been sentenced to life in jail for secretly filming his patients while they were naked and placing the footage on the internet.

read more | digg story

The Tale of the Penguin

One day there was a penguin who was out driving his car on a hot day. All of a sudden the engine started making funny noises so he pulled into a gas station. Luckily there was a mechanic there and he agreed to look at the engine. While the engine was being inspected the penguin noticed an ice cream shop down the road. So he waddled down the street and got himself an ice cream cone. He started waddling back to the gas station holding this ice cream cone between his flippers, by the time he got back there was ice cream all over his face and hands. The mechanic was looking in the engine and he says "It looks like you blew a seal." and the penguin says "No it's just ice cream."

Jokes of the Week

What does a cannibal get if he comes home late for dinner?
Cold shoulder.

Two cannibals are having a picnic and one says "I hate my mother in law." and the other says "try the potato salad."

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.

What's black and white and red all over?
That nun I just stabbed in the face.

Two peanuts are walking down the street one of them is assaulted.

Carry on my Wayward Story

Okay, so I just realized that I have the ability to create a never-ending story, but I have not the time. How then shall I accomplish this story that I want to continue into infinity? Well, there is a neato comment button below that I am sure can be pressed by people. What people, you may ask? Dunno, this is an experiment.

Procedure for never-ending story:
-Get a story starter
-Start an okay story
-Wait for people to bust in

Okay, so here goes:
---

The bride hath paced into the hall, red as a rose is she.
With her never ending glow the guests stood we.
But then, out of the blue, came the shouts of men, who did not seem too pleasant.
They were screams and howles of the dying breath.

Identifying Major Fashion Groups

As I walk through Century High School, I seem to be misunderstanding one thing--why does everybody look alike? They seem to all be a part of an army, a filthy stinking rich army bent on ridding the world of fashion-incompetence. Am I missing something? Everybody looks alike? It's okay, I'm not doing anything wrong. Most people at Century ARE like this. They're called Preps.

There are four basic fashion clics, or groups, at Century. Many, many more exist in the world, but at Century, students are not that creative.

Preps refer to anybody whose parents or appear to make over $150,000 a year. They are easily recognizable by the reflection of said salary in their attire. To them, $150 for two socks is reasonable. The clothes do wonders for their self-esteem; you will often see Preps strutting, chin held high, eyes closed. In the presence of other Preps, they compliment each other on their expensive clothes. This never ending cycle makes some people barf, but it is a way of life for well over 75% of Century students. Mostly girls.

Emo is the rarest group at Century due to its correlation with income. Many goths at Century are also in this category because they fail a few prerequisites for being true goth - they shower more than once a month and they haven't committed suicide yet.

Preemoes are a hybrid group of students, seemingly born in the Junior class, of people who have converted to a semi-depressed attitude, partially because of their hard classes and inconsiderate friends, and partially because of the added stress of having to care about what to wear. The Preemo style is indistinguishable, but people to devote themselves to this type of style tend to cut their hair ridiculously, and sometimes a substantial amount of black makeup, most namely eyeliner. One theory is that one tin of eyeliner is enough for one day of makeup application. Preemo is also hard to decipher because many Preps go in and out of a Preemo phase, thus the portmanteau combined-word reference to these two groups.

And then, there's Everybody else. Some people would mistakenly a majority of bandies into the prep category. While there is a large number of preps in band indeed, overall the majority of people are indifferent about their clothes. Regrettably most of these people end up showing up as prep, due to their jeans and occasional polo shirts.

So in conclusion, think about what group you belong to. At Century, it's easy to tell. If you're not Emo, you're prep.

(Disclaimer: These groups do not represent all students at Century. Only 95% of them.